"I didn't create art for a long time..."
"If It Ain't Fixed, Don't Break It".
Not only is this the title of my last (self) published art & poetry coffee table book, but it’s also how I would summarize my art “style” (if there IS such a thing here).
There were many years in my youth that I didn’t really create art for myself. I made all kinds of excuses and rationalizations for not developing my craft. Firstly, I was never really sure if it SHOULD be my craft and then there were the moments of doubt and self loathing (actually, many moments) and what it really came down to was simple and deep rooted fear.
FEAR of the blank page... or ruining a perfectly white canvas. I always thought why should I bother to try when there were literally MILLIONS of people out there doing it better then I ever could! I was afraid of not being good enough and for my lack of skills because I had never really practiced enough. Sure, my MOM would always say I was great... but could you REALLY trust a woman who let an Irishman talk her into having SIX kids? I mean really... I had people all around me who were supportive and encouraging, but I never believed I could make my creativity anything more than a hobby and even then I was non-productive.
It took the birth of my son, Austen, to make me believe.
He was an infant when I started drawing in the early mornings. I had already begun my career choice of being a creative as an art director for a local greeting card company, but, I hadn’t been creating anything for myself... something of a personal nature and what I wanted to say about the world around me. Everything I created prior to this time was a pay check and to sell someone else’s product. I made a commitment to start to sketch and just keep on doing it everyday. It had to be before my day job and the only place really open at that time were coffee houses and so, began my love affair with drawing and caffeine! I started by getting an amazing anatomy book and sketching what I saw.. then when that was exhausted, I moved on to magazine photos and images that I found around me. At this point, I was just refreshing my rendering skills and deciding what mediums I liked to use. So I copied the reference... a lot.
After a year, I decided I had something to say... to my young son.
And I’m not sure if it was ever actually scribbled onto any particular piece of paper.
I wanted to leave something behind me when I was done walking the planet. I wanted my son to know that dad didn’t just put on a tie and go to work everyday... come home have dinner.. go to bed, then get up and do it all again. That’s not who I was/am.
Many years have passed and I have a large body of work behind me, (some of it is still in front of me) and I believe that my initial message has gotten through to my (now much older) son, who has become an amazing musician/songwriter... That this world is not only about the wallet... it can (and must) also be about the SOUL.
Follow Me into the abyss
